Sad news again

Zara,
Hari ini tadi bunda menelepon tetangga lama bunda di gang langgar (Jakarta, dekat stasiun tjg barat). They are such a great couple, they treated me like their own daughter. Mereka baikkkk sangat ke bunda. And dats makes me feel home in Jkt.

Bagi bunda, merekalah orang pertama yang bisa menerima bunda di sana, dan merekalah yang pertama membuat bunda merasa betah di rumah kecil kami.

Ibu Ati dan Pak Bakti.

I am thinking to bring u to meet them, as for me, u r their grandaughter too.

I called Bu ati (just few hours before), and she have bad news for me. Pak Bakti sudah meninggal.

I feel so guilty for not being beside her when the tragedy happened.

I miss him deeply.

-----------------------------------
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmatNya ke atas rohnya Pak Bakti.

Yang Berdukacita
Bunda

Tante Usu

Sayang,
hari ini, tante usu sudah berjaya membeli baju nikahnya.

Kata tante, baju itu cantik, dan sangat sangat sangat mahal di KL. Kemarin dilihat, baju itu disewa semahal RM2000. Cuma utk disewa!!!!!

Dia juga berjaya membeli beberapa hal lain yang telah bunda list kan utk dia. Belinya di Tanah Abang.

;)

Love
Bunda

Moyang (Ibunya Eyang Kakung)

27 Juli 2009

Zara, hari ini moyang Zara, Ibunya Eyang Kakung, meninggal. Ayah, bunda dan Zara mau terbang pulang ke Jakarta, untuk penghormatan terakhir kita, tetapi, bunda punya masalah paspor dan ayah ga sempat beli tiket.

Gpp, mungkin kita terlepas untuk itu, tetapi, selalu lah Zara dan kita, doakan semoga eyang ditempatkan di tempat-tempat orang mukmin. Amin.

Love,
Bunda

p/s
anyway, nenek laki, nenek and tante usu ada melayat ke rumah eyang kakung, sekaligus, mewakili kita bertiga. (kebetulan mereka di Jakarta untuk membeli barang pernikahan tante)

Our first eye contact, heart-heart words..;)

The nurses are busy cleaning, and bathing you up, just beside me. That's makes me forget the pain of what the other nurse was doing down there (jahit yang telah terkoyak..;P). You are such a beautiful baby.. :'). Started to miss the moments.

Then, both of us back to the ward, its around 5am. I tot i can have good sleep, after having those pushing thing..But, u keep crying, I guess u wanna milk, so i tryto breastfeed you but, my first attemp was failed!!!! I keep on, but, it always failed.

Not until 6 hours later, around 10am, then u have ur first milk from me. Alhamdulillah. I feel so released and i haven't slept yet. It was so tiring. And, at the same time, we have our first eye contact. U r looking straight into my eyes, and i really can't believe it!!!! I am so touched and so happy!!! U look at me deep in my eyes, showing that u wanna know me. :)

Thanx for greeting me sayang. I love you.

___________________________________

Zara,

Bunda sebetulnya tidak dapat menceritakan betapa suka dan terharunya bunda bila Zara sudah ada di sini bersama bunda. Every words i said here really can't imagine of how much i love you.

Love,

Bunda

Your New Episode - Its The Beautiful World!!!

Selasa. 14 April 2009. Me and ayah were strolling on the bed, having a nice Tuesday together, with the fine weather.

Around 12++ pm I realize, "kenapa kok selalu basah nih mas?" Akhirnya nenek suruh ke hospital aja. Takutnya air ketuban bunda pecah.

So I went to the hospital with ayah. Bener, ternyata i have leaking. Udah 2 hari. So the doctor said its not good. Since i don't have the sign to give birth (contraction), they got to induce me the next morning, at 6 am. So, they warded me at 4 pm, on the 14th April.

So, i got to be prepared to be induce. They told me its more painful than a normal birth since itu harus dipaksa. But, i got to, so that Zara is safe. ;)

Malam itu, nenek, tante usu ke hospital, liat bunda dan hantar bantal buat bunda. Bunda disuruh nenek minum minyak selusuh.Sekali makan 3 sendok!!! Kata sedara2 cuman 3 titik!!! Hehe. Bunda jugak minum teh + telur ayam kampung mentah. Its not nice to be frank. But i got to. Nenek asked me to drink that! ;P

Malam nya, jam 12+am, kok banyak darah dan lendir ya? Bunda tanyain nurse. Katanya, bunda udah mau melahirkan. So, I just wait. Wait, Wait and Wait.

WOW! What kind of painful is this???? Ya Allah, is so so so painful. My back feel so much pain! Its millions millions of period pain if i can explain it..But so much pain until I really can't bear it. I called the nurse.The nurse called the dr. Yes, 3cm. So the doctor send me down tothe labour room.

Here comes the screaming part. All the energy i've saved to be burn all here in the labour room. I called ur dad to come into the room. And he came when i already starting to scream and push! ;) [oh, how i miss that moment!]. Your dad is just beside me to support me.

I push~push~and push. No sign of you going to pop out soon. The nurse telling me that the way i push is wrong, so theyteach me. With only 3 times of applying what they have teached me, u came out!

Luckily u came out, coz i already feel so tired to just let the nurse take you out using any kind of method coz i can't afford to push anymore. Alhamdulillah. Zara keluar. Bener, i don't feel that you were so near to meet me and ayah until i have to give up. ;)

Even thou sakit dijahit and everything and tired or whatever, i was so released and so happy to see you beside me. ;)

_______________________________________________________

WELCOME to the world sayang. Here, ayah and bunda are always be with you.

Love,

Bunda

Episode 5: False Alarm!!~

Ini lagi sarapan di dekat Hotel, Port Dickson

Bunda udah pulang duluan ke Malaysia, when i was 7 month pregnant. Oma yang nganterin bunda ke airport KLIA, kemudian pulang lagi ke Jakarta. Just for the sake of sending me, to see me safe landed here in KL then, she's happy to go back again to Jakarta. Thanx ibu, anyway for ur concern. ;)

Not until I am 8 month pregnant, ayah menyusul ke KL. We have been to many places in while of waiting u to pop out. Hehe. Kami sempat ke Genting Highland (kerna nenek ada kursus di situ, jadi, kami semua ikut ke sana).

Setelah pulang dari situ, beberapa hari setelah itu, around 10pm, bunda merasa sakit perut. At that time aunt Nadeeya and Cyrus was there to see tante usu. All of us, me, ayah, nenek laki, tante usu and her friends (Nadeeya and Cyrus) rushed to the hospital in Putrajaya. Moyang tinggal dirumah. Setelah di cek2 oleh dokter, katanya itu cuman braxton hicks contraction. ;) Jadinya, pulang lagi kerumah. Mana tante usu dan nenek laki naik ke Genting jemput nenek (kerna nenek masih ada kursus di sana). Dan akhirnya, pagi besoknya, ayah yang nganterin nenek naik ke Genting lagi.

Few days after, we went to Port Dickson. Nenek ada kursus lagi di Port Dickson. Last day kami di port dickson, bunda keluar darah.And again, we rushed to the hospital in putrajaya. Unlucky, hospital itu malah terbakar ward nya gara2 kilat malam sebelumnya. So, we're heading to the nearest hospital, which is hospital Serdang. Gara2 hospital Putrajaya terbakar, hospital Serdang penuh. Jadi, harus antri. Dr cek2 bunda, katanya masih belum ada bukaan. And he suggested me to go back home since i have to wait for a ward in that hospital. Kami pun pulang.

Zara sudah bikin 2 kali FALSE ALARM before Zara benar-benar pop out! ;P

____________________________________________

Zara,

Kalau pun Zara itu takut keluar kerna takut hidup di dunia yang ga seindah di perut bunda, I am always here to soothe you, to be always with you, whenever u need me. Because, u r not my other half, but you are my everything. ;)

Love,

Bunda

Episode 4: Scanning

Zara - 16 weeks - u can see ur brain there..

U can see ur face there..hehe

Ini umur zara 8 minggu - inilah waktu zara sudah mula berenang di perut bunda

We have our first appointment with the dr. was in KL, with Dr Zuraimi, di klinik Mediveron. Waktu itu Zara berumur 2 bulan di perut bunda.

(anyway, i forget to tell you, waktu nenek ke jakarta semasa bunda awal2 hamil zara, bunda ikut nenek pulang ke KL setelah itu kerna ayah akan ke Africa Selatan atas urusan kerja, dan bunda sendirian, jadinya, bunda ikut pulang. Malah kelamaan, sempat puasa dan kami berhari Raya Aidilfitri di KL).

Waktu puasa itu, kami scan zara. Waktu itu zara baru 2 bulan di perut bunda. Subhanallah! Zara, u r so active at that time and i never see any scan of a 2 month baby yang bergerak2 like YOU! Zara waktu itu lagi berputar2 badannya, keatas dan ke bawah. And suddenly, u r SWIMMING around my womb! Ya Allah Zara, Dr, ayah dan bunda semua ke kagetan! Keliatan tangan dan kaki zara swimming. Huhu. U r such an intelligent baby!

Then we have done every month checkup, at so many hospital in Jakarta. Actually we were surveying a good hospital and doctor to stick on but unfortunately, there's none of it. We've been to 4 good Hospitals. Ga ada yang sebagus Dr. Zuraimi. Even di Hospital yang ramei! Dan, masyaAllah, mahalnya mintak ampun. :) Anyway, we are enjoying the survey thingy. Dan akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk melahirkan zara di Malaysia, Hospital Putrajaya.

Appointment terakhir bunda di Jakarta adalah dengan dr. yang bagus malah! At last, we're found a good dr, maksudnya yang cocok dengan bunda dan ayah tetapi, we have made decision of delivering u here in Malaysia. ;)

______________________________________________

Zara,

There's a time for us to make a good decision. Even its quite difficult but we have Allah to ask for the best choice. I guess u know what i mean.

Semoga setiap decision yang kita buat, setiap nya dengan redha Allah.

Love,

Bunda

Episode 3: Jalan-jalan, Makan-makan ;)

Opah Ana was coming to Jakarta wif Tuk Din, Uncle Joe, Uncle Rozain and Uncle Aiman. Waktu itu bunda udah hamil zara 5 bulan. We were celebrating Hari Raya Haji together at Jakarta. So, bunda puas jalan2 ke bandung, ke restorant yang cantik dan enak, dan we stayed at Kemang Hotel, (depan kantor ayah Petrosea). Bunda can eat whatever i wish for. ;P Bunda sempat juga swimming di hotel itu.

(I guess that is why u like to have ur bath time when u r a baby) ;)

___________________________________________

Zara,

Kapan-kapan kita jalan-jalan and makan-makan lagi? Sekarang Zara masih belum bisa makan...masih nyusu bunda. ;P

Can't wait to have more moments with you.

Love,

Bunda

Episode 2: Mengidam

Nenek sakit. Demam parah. Panas. Tante usu telpon bunda, cerita nenek demam panas, sampe2 bunda mau book ticket pulang liat nenek di KL. Nenek muntah terus. Tapi, setelahbeberapa hari, nenek sihat lagi.

Setelah itu, bunda kabarin ke nenek, nenek laki and tante usu that i am pregnant. So, we have one theory, kali kerna bunda hamil, nenek jadi muntah2?kerna awal2 minggu itu bunda baik2 saja. Not until few weeks later, nenek ke jakarta, bunda mulai ngidam.

I can't eat BAKSO! It was my fav food before. dan bila bunda hamil zara, i even can't see Gerobak BAKSO, even bunyi orang jualan BAKSO or whatsoever that link to BAKSO!!! Uwekkkkk!!!! ;) Dan seperti biasa, i can't smell rice, bawang goreng dan bau2 masakan. ;)

Waktu bunda hamil zara, alhamdulillah, i get what i want to eat, where i want to go. ;)Muntah pertama bunda sewaktu hamil zara adalah sewaktu bunda jalan2 dengan nenek di Jalan Surabaya. Kerna bunda bau mi sedaap yang dipesen nenek. ;P

_____________________________________________

Zara,

Setiap saat waktu bunda dengan Zara itu sangat manis buat bunda. Dan akan selalu diingatan bunda sampai kapan pun. Walau saat bunda dengan Zara itu sesuatu yang kurang enak. Even bunda muntah2 itu pun, bunda jadi kangen. ;)

Love,

Bunda

Episode 1 : How long should I wait? I mean should WE wait? (Ayah and Bunda)

Ini foto kami masih berdua, masih menunggu-nunggu hadirnya Zara

Honeymoon kami di Jogja

09 June 2007,

ayah dan bunda diijabkabulkan. I felt so happy, of marrying some one i really wish of. Not until I was off to Jakarta, following ayah to start our new life as a married couple. I felt so sad of leaving mak and ayah (nenek), sampei2 bunda nampak kereta Chevrolet Spark (it was nenek's car at that time) di Jakarta bunda nangis. :') Anyway, cut the story short. So we both live in Jakarta, and we've been gone thru so many laughed and tears. Time goes by...Sudah 3 bulan kami menikah...kok masih belum hamil ya? We've waited patiently, not til every month i bought the test pack to check whether i got pregnant or not. But always no happy news for us and everyone. I started to get frustrated. Started to cry. :')

By June, (for what i remember), ayah got his new job, better offer from where he worked before. He moved to his new office and we were happy. Not long after that, we have our new house ready, its the one in Jln. Timbul. Seperti bulan2 sebelumnya, bunda akan beli test pack. Ya Allah! Menakah tok?

BREAK!

(remember i told u that while i am writing thing this u r beside me, gerak2, talking baby language and gigit jari? Now, u falled asleep sendiri...Cian anak bunda!!! muah2)

Ok, back to the story, Menakah Tok??? I hardly believe it was positive. Sebab warna nya pun samar2, since i am doing the test too early, so garis nya sik nampak gilak. I called your dad at the office. He asked me to buy more test pack and do the test again. Bunda beli lagi 3 test pack, dan bener, positif. Sorenya, setelah ayah pulang kantor, kami ke klinik bunda di margonda, dan dokter juga mengesahkan bunda hamil....

ALHAMDULILLAH.

___________________________________________

Sayang Zara,

People sometimes pressure us but, always be patient. If we cannot have it now, maybe tomorrow. Allah knows better, and let Him do whatever the best for us.

I have you at the right time. We will have something in our life at our right time. Not too worry so much on what He's planning for us. Just go and find the effort then pray for it. InsyaAllah, u'll get it on the right time.

And i have you on the right time. Subhanallah.

Love,

Bunda

Its Not Too Late

Zara is born on 15th April 2009. Anak tengah bulan. Hehehe. Anak millenium. Yalah, 2009! My god. Hmmm..

Anyway, I guess its not too late for me to write something for u sayang. Something we'll treasure after. Something that I will read when I am all alone. Something that I read when i miss u later. ;) Gosh, zara baru jak lahir 3 bulan, awal-awal dah kamek mikirnya akan jauh dari kamek kelak. But i realize, time goes so fast! Very fast. Tutup mata buka mata tiap hari, we will get to the end of our life. Or, she'll be a grown up girl with beautiful eyes! yeah. So better kinek tok lah kamek tulis untuk kenang-kenangan hingga ke cucu-cicit.

Its not too late oh? Oleh kerana, kamek tek mok madah keja banyak sik juak, but, selalu lah sik sempat nak nulis hal-hal seperti tok. Tetapi kamek makin sedar yang kamek perlu juak tulis hal-hal tok, sebab kamek nangga nya udah ROLLING!!!! Ya rabi....sik sangka aih. Nya udah ROLLING! So, cepat2 jak kamek tulis surat pakei zara, sak sik tertinggal apa2 kenangan kamek berdua. She's growing. :'(

Zara, by the time I am typing this, u are beside me, gerak2, talking to me with ur baby's language (maybe asking, "Bunda ngapain?") hehehehe, dan juga lagi sucking ur fingers. ;)
Anyway, can i just tell u the whole sotry? Atau selepas Zara lahir ajak? Hmmm....jap, pikir jap. (2 seconds after thinking) - Bagus tulis before zara lahir lah! Rite girl?

__________________________________________

This is just the beginning of ur life, sayang. You still have very long way to go. I hope and pray, that you'll be a good daughter to bunda and ayah, a good muslimah, and grow up well. I hope we got something from what we have gone thru together, and i wanted to tell you, I love You So much. More than words can say. Hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.

Jaga langkah kaki nya everytime Zara melangkah..

Love,
Bunda