Ramadhan Mubarak everyone.
I just can't imagine that we are already in the month of Ramadhan. And I still think about the last Ramadhan. Ya Allah. Really times goes so fast. And yet I am still dreaming. Dreaming of how can I commit to myself and others.
Talking about commitment, I am a wife and a mother of two kids. I stays home all the time and i'm not working. Basically, everyone can call me a housewife. But I am putting myself as a house manager. :)
My hobby, my passion is alot into making something new. Doing something creative. Sewing. Designing. Baking. I always dreamed to be a fashion designer. But again, commitment. Do i really can commit into the business line meanwhile i have another big commitment to commit? Sometimes i am very sure i can commit but alot of time my motivation running low and become so lazy to do anything.
My KIDS. They are my first and foremost commitment. They are growing. They need attention from me.
My HUSBAND. He needs me to iron his clothes. To cook. To take care of the accounts. To make sure the house is in good condition. To always be there for him whenever he needed me.
MYSELF. I need to finish up my master. And of course, taking care of myself in terms of beauty, cleanliness and discipline's.
When i read other people's blogs, life. I feel so miserable. They are so much in front of me. Then i started to dream. Dream big. Then i discussed it with my husband. We argued. Yes, argued of commitments. Argued of multi tasking work. Argued of my attention later for the kids. Then, my dream become small. And fade away.
But when i think deeper. I have my own way to be special. I shouldn't follow others. They have their own specialty, they own responsibilities and their own way of taking life. As for me, i admit i can't be good without my kids, without my husband. Yes, i can still be a fashion designer. To myself and the kids! And a fashion police to my hubby. I can still be creative with my 'what-to-do-list' with my kids everyday. I can still teach and be a 'lecturer' to my kids. I can still be a good housewife in managing my house everyday. I can still sew in a way of putting few hours aside to sew Zara's and Murad's clothes.
I can be what i want to be. Its just depends on how should i put it. Talking about money, how much should i earn. Well, yes, i need more money to buy my own handbags, shoes and etc. But i guess, that will come later. Commitments comes first.
Allah have gave me alot. And I already know what to do now! Its still not to late for me to start. Wish me luck.
I really hope this Ramadhan gives me more for my next life.